Category: Satire & News
February 21, 2025
Satire & News
Lindsey Graham Declares He Will ‘Go to War’ to Defend Chick-fil-A — Says a Good Chicken Sandwich Is More Important Than To Protect Democracy
Still doesn’t have stomach or nerve to defy Trump or cuckoo base Believes eating Chick-fil-A sandwiches stops the spread of Communism Suggests Cuba’s current problems are because they don’t...
February 21, 2025
Satire & News
Op-Ed: ‘Joe Biden Just Ruined My Anti-Biden Business’
Editor’s Note: This opinion piece was penned by a longtime Empire News reader, and submitted to our op-ed department. In 2020 when our nation’s savior, Donald Trump, had the...
February 21, 2025
Satire & News
Only Hours After Announcing Separation from Lisa Bonet, Actor Jason Momoa Photographed Holding Hands with SNL’s Pete Davidson
NEW YORK CITY, New York – Only a few hours after publicly announcing that he would be divorcing wife Lisa Bonet, superstar actor Jason Momoa (Aquaman) was photographed leaving...
February 21, 2025
Satire & News
Former President Trump Calls Kyle Rittenhouse a ‘Modern-Day Hero’ In Leaked Private Recordings
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A leaked private recording was recently obtained exclusively by Empire News, wherein former President Donald Trump directly refers to recently acquitted teenage gunman Kyle Rittenhouse as...
February 21, 2025
Satire & News
Kraft Foods To Re-Brand ‘Kool-Aid Man’ Mascot to ‘Kool-Aid Person’ After Pressure From Left-Wing Groups
CHICAGO, Illinois – Kraft Food Holdings, the parent company behind Kool-Aid Brands, has announced that their long-stand mascot, The Kool-Aid Man, will be modified to be the Kool-Aid Person...
February 21, 2025
Satire & News
Multiple People Hospitalized, Several Arrested During ‘Rush Limbaugh Has Cancer’ Celebration in Boston
BOSTON, MA Over a dozen people were hospitalized and 11 people were arrested after a massive celebration broke out in the streets of Boston on Friday. Last week, conservative...